Living with other people is like being on a team — except the practice never ends, there’s no coach, and everyone has a different idea of what “clean” means.

When I think back on university, I always reflect on my second year. It was my best year in terms of roommates. We were close, comfortable, aligned. But here’s the twist: it wasn’t my best year overall.

My third and fourth years were better socially, academically, personally. And in those years? I wasn’t close to my roommates. We weren’t friends. We didn’t hang out. Even now, we’re not connected in any meaningful way.

But I genuinely liked living with them.

That’s something we don’t talk about enough. Living with people you don’t know — or don’t become best friends with — doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can simply be functional. Respectful. Normal.

And that’s often what student housing communities are built around. At places like Palay, the focus isn’t just on finding your lifelong best friend — it’s on creating an environment where coexistence feels natural. Shared lounges, study spaces, and community events exist to make connection possible, but not forced. You can build friendships in common rooms or simply appreciate the quiet comfort of knowing other students are living alongside you.

Sometimes the win isn’t a picture-perfect roommate story. It’s having a space that supports your life — socially when you want it, independently when you need it.

Here’s how to make it work.

1. Set Boundaries Early 

The most important conversations happen at the beginning.

According to guidance on roommate boundary-setting from Therapy Trainings, healthy shared living starts with clarity — not assumptions. That means discussing expectations around privacy, guests, quiet hours, and shared responsibilities before tension builds.

Start with personal items. Is your home a “what’s mine is yours” situation? Or is it strictly separate?

There’s no right answer — only a clear one.

Unspoken expectations are where resentment grows. You may think it’s obvious that your olive oil isn’t communal. Your roommate may think the opposite. Five dollars’ worth of condiments should not be the hill your lease dies on.

Boundaries are not about being rigid. They’re about protecting the comfort of everyone in the space.

2. Divide Cleaning Like Adults 

Cleaning is rarely about cleanliness. It’s about fairness.

Apartment Therapy suggests that splitting chores evenly — rather than informally — prevents conflict. The key? Don’t divide tasks like dishes down the middle. That’s a daily friction point. Instead, rotate larger responsibilities weekly.

One person takes garbage and recycling. Another vacuums and wipes surfaces. Switch the following week.

A simple chore rotation avoids the silent scorekeeping that quietly ruins roommate dynamics.

And yes — a chore wheel may feel elementary. But nothing feels worse than being the only one scrubbing the stove before your midterm.

3. Be Strategic About Groceries 

Sharing food is rarely ideal. But selectively sharing can make sense.

Milk. Bread. Condiments. Cleaning supplies.

In my early years of living away from home, I wasted so much food because I didn’t know how to shop for one person. Splitting certain staples reduced waste and saved money. It also made the apartment feel fuller — like the fridge wasn’t just survival-mode stocked.

The key is clarity. Decide together what’s communal and what’s not. Label if needed. It’s practical, not passive aggressive.

4. Remember: It’s Still Your Space 

So many people become timid when living with strangers. As if they’re temporary guests in a space they equally pay for.

You are not.

You deserve to feel at home.

Yes, respect matters. Noise awareness matters. Communication matters when bringing people over. But you don’t need to shrink your lifestyle to accommodate someone else’s.

Different schedules. Different social habits. Different routines.

Coexistence does not require personality erasure.

As highlighted in University Apartments’ discussion on roommates transitioning from strangers to friends, shared living doesn’t always lead to deep friendship — and that’s okay. Sometimes it leads to mutual understanding, quiet support, or simply a stable environment where you can focus on school, growth, and your own circle.

That’s enough.

5. Stop Overthinking the Worst 

We tend to overthink the negative because that’s what people share.

Roommate horror stories spread faster than stories about calm, ordinary living. But the truth is, most roommate situations are not extreme. They’re just… fine.

Living with a stranger can be awful. That fear is valid.

But it can also be neutral. Respectful. Quiet. Supportive in small, invisible ways.

You can live beside someone without becoming best friends. You can find yourself without dramatic conflict. You can focus on school, relationships, and growth without your living situation defining your year.

If you can overthink the worst, you can overthink the best.

And you can absolutely overthink the normal.

Sometimes living with a stranger isn’t a transformative experience. It’s just a chapter where you learned how to share space without losing yourself.

And honestly? That’s a skill that lasts longer than any lease.

See you next week,

Olivia Lee